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How to be Less Shy and More Confident Around Girls

Mrunal Belvalkar Mar 8, 2020
When many boys approach puberty, they feel shy around girls they used to play with until a couple years ago. Some go through several school years feeling rather shy to approach the girl they have a crush on. Some boys continue to be shy as they hit college, and some even when they become professionals!

Why are Guys Shy Around Girls?

Most boys are shy for a few common reasons like fear of rejection or fear of being ridiculed. Some are just naturally shy while a few have gone through an experience that has made them lose their confidence.
The human mind comes up with its own defenses to protect itself from unpleasant feelings. Do not look at being shy as a handicap. In order to get over it you first need to accept it and approach it with the right attitude.

Know Yourself

What makes you shy? What aspect of being with a girl makes you shy? Is it the girl's looks? Or your own looks?
Is it conversation? Is it a particular topic that you feel shy talking about? Know yourself. Find out and put a tab on the root-cause of your shyness, and address it directly, instead of beating about the bush!

Be Assertive

So everybody at school likes basketball, but you like tennis; So what? Be assertive, and be prepared to discuss your preferences. Sometimes one tends to get intimidated about being different.
Though you may not want to be with someone who wants to be with you just because you also like Pink Floyd, preferences do matter. They give you things to talk about! But that doesn't mean you should alter your preferences to be with someone.

Modest - But Not a Doormat!

If you are good at playing the guitar, you are good. Do not downplay your talents! Someone who blows his own trumpet all the time is quite a put-off, but someone who is constantly in denial is quite boring as well.
If a girl compliments you, you can respond with something like "Thank you, I am still learning", or "Oh I still have a long way to go" but do not respond to every compliment with that. It may make you seem like someone with very little self-respect and self-esteem.

Conversation Helps

Conversation starters that you use go a long way in creating a first impression in the mind of the girl you approach. There are different ways to strike up a conversation. Girls, women - all ages, all kinds - LOVE to talk.
One of the ways to get a girl interested in you is with a good conversation, better still get them to start talking. So do away with being awkward, and start talking!

Back at You

Lead the conversation back to her every once in a while. It will give you time to prepare your mind about what to say next, it will also give you some time to recover from nervousness, but most importantly it will help you get to know the girl better too.
Besides, she is going to love that you really want to get to know her as a person, and you aren't an 'all-me' kind of a guy. You are sure going to earn yourself some brownie points here!

Take Charge - We Love It!

Women love confident, assertive men who are capable of taking charge of things and leading a conversation, meeting or date. If you are out with a girl, order a drink for her; tell her how wonderful it is, and how much she is going to like it.
If you are talking about something you both do not agree upon, make your point and support it with reasons. Women love men who think, not those that have just blind preferences.

If Looks Could Kill

Dress to impress. But do not dress in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Dress in your most comfortable attire, but one that makes you feel good about your appearance and looks.
You may not be someone who cares much for his looks, but girls love well-dressed and well-groomed guys! That does not mean you go overboard and turn up for coffee in a trouser and shirt! Dress according to the venue and occasion.
Keep these tips in mind, and you will soon find yourself easing out into the meeting and enjoying yourself. Once you get started, you are bound to find your own ways to overcome your shyness. Best of luck buddy!