"Why did she cheat? Where did I go wrong? What did I do to drive her in to the arms of another man? Forget that, why didn't she just tell me that she wasn't happy?" Questions. Questions. Let's find out why women cheat in relationships and have affairs.
They say that a woman is God's most beautiful creation. She is a mother, nurturer and lover. They also say that all women are ring-crazy creatures that can't wait to have lots of children. Well, they also say that men are most likely to cheat in relationships. They say a lot of things.
May be you were just cheated on by your girlfriend or wife, or may be you are scared that she already is or might. There are obviously lots of questions in your head. I do not claim to speak for all of my species, but I can tell you why does a woman cheat and what goes on inside her dangerous mind.
If you are married to the woman in question, it may particularly be difficult to get closure on this subject. Nevertheless, I am happy to help. Marriages, they say, are made in heaven but it is on earth where they require to be worked upon!
It is very easy to fall in love with someone and get married, but extremely difficult to live happily ever after. Trust, respect, honesty - which are considered the pillars of a relationship, may sometimes not be enough to sustain it with either the man or the woman starting to look outside the marriage for fulfillment.
It is true that (most) women value love and marriage. So, it can be really baffling when a woman cheats on her husband and herself throws her marriage away.
Why do women cheat on their partners?
A woman's infidelity is never out of the blue. The "out of the blue" part is really only at your end. There is always a reason or a thought that had been brewing in her head for a long time, whether consciously or subconsciously, that led her to cheat on her man. Every woman has her own reasons of committing adultery. You could be to blame for most part of it, or she could be. Take a look below, may be, you would be able to tell what went wrong and why did she cheat on you.
Blame YOURSELF If...
You were pathetic in bed
Okay, this one may be a direct insult to your manhood but you probably didn't sexually satisfy her and she couldn't put her needs on the back burner anymore. If the woman and her husband are sexually incompatible, it can prompt the wife to have an affair outside for physical intimacy.
A few years into a relationship, the strong sexual feelings that once existed between the couple, start dampening a bit. May be there is less satisfying sex or decreased frequency of doing it altogether. This can get worse after having children.
If at this point, either of the partners does not make efforts to keep the romance and sex alive in their marriage, it can spell doom for the relationship. Since, you refused to pay heed to making her happy in bed, she took over the reins of the situation.
Well, it is actually pretty unfair to now blame her because you became lax about your appearance or her needs. You weren't floating her boat, man.
All you do is fight
That's right. You fought with her last night. You fought with her the week before and the one before that. Basically, you fight with her at every chance you get.
Yes, you could be frustrated with things that are not even related to her but you carried over to your home and you nit-pick her at everything she does. Nothing that she does is ever quite right in your eyes.
You know how it is living with such a person? A living nightmare. She just wanted to escape to her little dream world even if just for a few hours and she gladly cheated on you. You deserved it.
You are terrible at the art of conversation
It could have a lot to do with a lack of emotional connect between the couple. On the whole, women are much more sensitive and emotional than men.
They also are a lot more communicative and do not feel shy while expressing their emotions. Women have this need to have heart-to-heart conversations with their partners, which the men are sometimes not able to fulfill. Women might also feel that their men are not giving them enough attention.
If the man does not assure his woman from time to time, by way of words or actions, that he loves and values her, the woman feels left out. She might start seeking other men, who according to her, are better at meeting her emotional needs, thus leading to infidelity in marriage.
You cheated, She just wanted sweet revenge
So, yes, we have a cheater himself here, do we? You cheated on her. She tried to come to terms with it but couldn't.
As a revenge or closure to her agony she cheated on you back. Like the taste of your medicine? Well, the good news is that she may be now ready to forgive you and the bad news is that she will never ever trust you again. You brought it upon yourself.
Do all women react the same way on being betrayed? You can never say. Moral of the story: Tit for tat, you were foolish enough to have messed with her.
She didn't feel wanted or desired
If the man in her life fails to appreciate her or takes her for granted or ignores her at times and places more value on his work or friends, the woman might start looking elsewhere.
All women have an innate need to feel emotionally connected with somebody, and if her partner is unable to be that person, the woman might seek solace else where. If you can't give her the respect she deserves or treat her the way a woman must be treated, don't cry foul.
Blame HER If...
She was drunk
We all have our moments when we get so pissed drunk that the morning after, it becomes hard to recall the events that transpired the previous night.
She probably got so drunk that she had a slip up even though she never wanted to but was temporarily brain-dead and cheated on you. Alcohol can really mess with your sensibilities. No, I am not asking you to excuse her for it. I am just saying that she may not have done it willingly and would never dare to it in her conscious state.
I absolutely support the notion that if you have a doubt on your sanity post alcohol, it is probably not the best idea to get so drunk in the absence of your partner. But now, it is absolutely your call whether to forgive her or leave her.
She wanted to end the relationship
Another very common reason which makes women cheat on their husbands or boyfriends is their secret desire to bring an end to the relationship.
It may have been very difficult for her to talk to you about it, fearing your reaction. She was done silently suffering in a relationship that she didn't want to be anymore.
She also did not want to feel guilty about breaking your heart if you ended up being hurt by the breakup so she cheated on you to make you hate her enough that you end the relationship yourself. It is an easy but a coward way out of a relationship.
She cheated to get ahead in her career.
This holds true especially if she cheated on you with her boss or colleague or any other person who is capable of helping her advance in her career.
This person is influential and successful. Your girlfriend or wife was probably too focused on having a successful career than having a successful marriage and she cheated on you for the sheer perks of the physical intimacy she established with this man. There may even be emotional intimacy involved.
She got bored. Cheating was thrilling.
Just like men are known to seek challenges and women who play hard to get, the fairer sex too craves for excitement, challenges and adventure in life.
Many genuine, simple and good guys often face a situation wherein their partners cheat on them. It is for the simple reason that they miss the thrill and excitement that a new relationship has to offer. Trust me on this, especially, if the other man is a typical Bad Boy or a Casanova.
A good guy can sometimes be too simple for a woman's taste because they get predictable and lack passion. Also, a woman who may otherwise enjoy the ups and downs of a roller coaster relationship is hard to be pinned down to a rather stable and serious relationship. Wait, isn't that called being self-destructive? Well, may be.
She lacks morals
Yes, let's admit it. I do not appreciate anyone making impolite remarks on a woman's character, but, it is very important to see right from wrong. So, your woman had loose morals and you probably never realized it until she went ahead and cheated on you.
Why can only Tiger Woods be a sex-addict? Your girlfriend or wife was probably a nymphomaniac in the closet and now her dirty secret is finally out in the open. She obviously has self-esteem, stability and loyalty issues. This type of woman is hardly ever apologetic of her actions or regretful of the pain she caused to you.
She simply doesn't care and it is time you expressed gratitude towards God for knowing it now than being oblivious to it for longer.
The Gray Areas of Cheating
She changed teams
Remember, Ross and his wife Carol from the popular sitcom Friends?
Of course, you do. Well, case in point - After four years of dating and six years of marriage, she changed sides and turned homosexual, even pursuing a full-fledged relationship with another woman. Surprise, surprise! In reality, it is hard to believe but we cannot rule out the possibility of such things to happen.
Did your wife or girlfriend ever talk about how she is or has been confused about her feelings towards women? If your woman stopped showing interest in men altogether and became close to a woman, (disturbingly) too close for even the best of friendships, you know what I am talking about. Boom! You got your answer.
She wasn't looking for anything serious
This woman is a wild-child or you were not her priority so she hooked up with someone else without paying any attention to how you may react to it because in her head it isn't serious and she just wanted to have some fun before she settled down for something serious.
She also probably was on a vacation or a party and wasn't looking for anything emotionally intimate from the person she cheated on you with. She may also be more sexually adventurous than you are and so she did it to satisfy her streak. Wait, didn't you know what you were getting into?
She met someone who excites her
Let's face it, a married life, though very secure, can sometimes be quite boring. Following the same routine of living, day in and day out, can make a woman crave for some thrill in life.
Sometimes, you have no control over fate and you can't do anything about the people who enter your woman's life. So she met someone who put the moves on her. May be she told him about you or may be she did not. Ultimately, she couldn't resist the temptation and gave in to his charms.
After the first rush of love that he successfully led her to feel, she might have even fallen in love with him or the excitement. It was only in your control before she met this guy, you could have kept it thrilling. Now, she has met him. She could have resisted it, but she cheated on you instead. Who will you blame?
She is going through mid-life crisis
If she is in her 30s or her 40s, it is likely that she is going through mid-life crisis. Suddenly surrounded by self-doubt and her inability to comprehend whether she has made the right decisions or if she has any regrets, she may have begun an affair not knowing how else to deal with the situation.
She feels unfulfilled and foolishly believed that an affair could help her find herself. I can tell you this that such a woman is only looking for new vigor in her life by giving another shot to love, not the wisest move on her part, she may end up regretting it later. However, it is extremely unfortunate that you have become a victim of her own sufferings.
She is under stress
She probably lost herself in striving to become a good mother, dutiful wife or an over-achieving professional. It eventually took a toll on her emotional state and she fell in to depression.
Being her partner, she hoped you would see it and pull her out of it when she was too chicken to admit it even to herself. With merriment having left her side for a long time, a new man came in to her life and offered her all that along with an ear and welcoming arms.
Even if it started off as a platonic friendship, she let it absorb her completely until she could no longer feel like your girlfriend/wife or your children's mother. That is all that is there to it.
You grew apart
There was growing emotional distance in your relationship and she obviously felt it. This is one of the most common reasons why women cheat on their husbands or partners.
It is easy to grow apart over the course of your marriage or relationship because you fail to put in the required efforts to keep the love and passion alive.
You start seeing each others flaws more clearly than all the qualities that attracted both of yow to one another in the first place. When emotional distance creeps in, it isn't long before a third person comes and fills the gap.
Listen up men, if you are guilty of neglecting your woman, you share an equal burden of the responsibility of her having cheated on you. Stop being self-obsessed for a minute and put yourself in her shoes. If in your heart you know that you aren't wrong, then she probably never learned to value you in her life. In either case, the relationship has suffered and it is really up to you to decide what fate may befall up on it.
How to Stop a Woman from Cheating?
When a woman cheats, it is more often about sharing emotional intimacy than it is about a bed. All that a woman truly wants is to be admired for her efforts. Believe it or not, if she has cheated on you, it is not necessary that she is in love with the other man or has been physically intimate with him.
If you and your woman are not in such a situation already, first of all, congrats! Secondly, try to work out your problems and make her feel loved everyday if you don't want her to leave you for another man who did a better job at that.
There are a lot of things that a man can do to avoid such a situation, such as being faithful, kind, considerate to his woman, at the same time being fun and romantic.
Some of the ways to prevent your partner from cheating on you is - taking out time aside every week for just the two of you to spend together, remaining constantly in touch even while at work by sending each other romantic e-mails or texts, making gestures showing your appreciation of her efforts and being more innovative and creative in the bedroom.
Make her feel that she is valued and desired. I find it very crippling on the part of women when the society so openly claims that men are the ones who are the most prone to cheating. I am not trying to defend either of the sexes. All that I am saying is that given a situation, women are as likely to cheat as men are capable of. It is just matter of choice.